


Take Me Away

by Attenia



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 11:51:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19376152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attenia/pseuds/Attenia
Summary: When Arwen dies in childbirth, Legolas rushes to Gondor to comfort his friend, but Aragorn's grief may be beyond healing. Will he stay in Middle Earth for his kingdom, or leave everything behind and sail to Valinor to meet her? Aragorn/Arwen pairing, but this is mainly a Legolas/Aragorn friendship story. OOC Aragorn. Trigger warnings for self-harm and suicide attempt.





	Take Me Away

Legolas  
“Where is he!”  
“W-who?” the guard stammered.  
Legolas clenched his hands, resisting the urge to draw his knife. “The king, that’s who!”  
It was a good thing he was known here, or he the guard might have arrested him, but Legolas couldn’t help it. He was panicked, and had been ever since he’d gotten Estel’s letter.  
“I – he was in the garden on the roof, last I checked.”  
“Who’s with him?”  
The guard shifted uncomfortably. “He told us to leave him.”  
“AND YOU DID? AFTER HIS WIFE JUST DIED?”  
Legolas didn’t wait for the guard’s response, but set off running. What would possess them to leave Estel alone at a time like this, orders or not?   
Maybe Legolas was wrong. He prayed he was wrong.  
He burst out onto the large outdoor garden area – an area that had a good few hundred feet of air between it and the ground. Legolas spotted Estel immediately. His heart nearly stopped when he saw his best friend. Estel was standing on the low wall, on the wrong side of the safety railing.   
“ESTEL!”  
Legolas ran faster than he’d ever run in his life, praying as he’d never prayed before, begging the Valar to give him time. He just needed to get to Estel.  
The man didn’t seem to hear him, lost as he was in his own head. The distance between them was shrinking too slowly, and at any moment, Legolas feared his friend would jump.  
Estel lifted a leg, and stepped out over the edge.  
“NO!” Legolas tackled the man, grabbing his legs. Estel flipped forward, his front crunching horribly against the stone. The jolt felt like it was going to pull his arms out of their sockets, but Legolas kept hold of Estel’s legs, hauling him back over the edge.  
Estel didn’t come quietly. He struggled like a madman. “Let go of me! How dare you!”  
“Estel, it is me, it is Legolas. Hush, mellon nin.”  
His words did nothing to calm Estel, who struggled even harder. “Go away, Legolas, let me down.”  
Legolas blinked away tears as he wrestled Estel away from the edge. “I am not going to let you kill yourself, gwador.”  
The man stopped struggling, though he was shaking so badly that Legolas still had to work to hold onto him. Judging them far enough away from the edge, he lowered himself and Estel to the ground.   
Estel turned at once and started sobbing desperately into his chest.   
“Oh gwador, I am so sorry,” Legolas murmured, stroking his friend’s hair.   
“She – she’s g-gone,” Estel choked. “D-died – childbirth –”  
Legolas tightened his arms around the man. “I know, mellon nin, I know.”  
Estel’s nose was bleeding, probably from smashing against the wall when he fell, but that was the least of Legolas’ worries right now.   
“I c-can’t – l-live with – without h-her…”  
Legolas started rocking his friend gently as Estel cried in utter misery. He curled the man onto his lap and held him. “I know, Estel. I understand.”  
“Then w-why – won’t y-you – let m-m-me – d-die?”  
“This is not the way, mellon nin. Arwen is waiting for you in Valinor. If you truly cannot be without her, you and I will set sail to meet her. You know that Mithrandir already arranged for your entrance to the Undying Lands after your death. You will be allowed to arrive via ship, as would any elf.”  
“Can’t – too l-long – hurts –”  
“I know it hurts, gwador, but you must understand I am not going to let you kill yourself. I will help you shoulder the pain until we get to Valinor, but I will not let you die.”  
It seemed this was the wrong thing to say, because Estel clutched harder at his tunic, sobbing and sobbing as though his heart was being ripped out – which, Legolas supposed, it was. The man was utterly inconsolable, no matter what Legolas said. He cried so hard he threw up, several times, and the prince seriously considered bringing him to the healers, but Estel was in no state to be moved.  
“Saes, tell me what I can do,” Legolas begged, somewhat desperately. Seeing his best friend in such pain without being able to do anything was agonizing.  
Estel choked when he tried to speak, and Legolas thumped him on the back several times. The man pointed at the drop off with a shaky hand.  
Legolas used one hand to impatiently wipe his own eyes. “Say the word, Estel, and I will call guards right now and tell them to send an emissary to the Grey Havens. We can start building the ship today.”  
He was unable to understand the man’s mangled answer, so Legolas simply went back to rocking his friend. Eventually, when Estel’s distress still showed no signs of easing, he decided that they have to move.  
“Come on, Estel, I’m taking you to your bed chambers.”  
“NO! Not there, Legolas, please –”  
“Ok, ok, one of the guest rooms, then. I just want to get you lying down.” Of course, he should have thought of it. Estel and Arwen’s chambers would have been where she gave birth – where she died. Legolas easily lifted his friend and started carrying him.  
Estel wrapped his arms around the prince’s neck, burying his face in Legolas’ shoulder. Both of their tunics were already soaked in tears.   
Legolas took Estel to the rooms he used when he came to visit and quickly got the man situated in bed. Estel rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, his entire body still shaking with sobs. The prince picked up one of the bells they kept in guest rooms and rang for a servant. A maid appeared a minute later.  
“Get me a healer,” Legolas said shortly. “And get water for a bath.”  
The girl stared at her king, shocked.  
“Now!” Legolas snapped, and she ran.  
“N-n-n-no – h-healer,” Estel gasped. He wasn’t able to articulate anything more – though he tried – but Legolas could guess his friend’s thoughts. The man didn’t want anyone else seeing him like this.  
“I’ll just take the healing supplies they bring, then,” Legolas soothed. “Your nose doesn’t look broken, just bloodied, I can treat it myself. Do you have any other injuries?”  
Estel didn’t respond, so Legolas quietly started examining him. He fought back a gasp when he got to Estel’s arms. They had long gashes in them, that looked like they’d been made with a sword. Legolas bit back the question that was trying to burst from his lips. He didn’t need to ask what had happened. It was obvious these wounds were self-inflicted.   
The maid filled the bath as unobtrusively as possible, and Legolas sent the healer away after raiding his healing supplies and asking for a sleeping potion to be made. When the bath was full, he helped Estel undress. The man swayed on his feet and almost collapsed when he tried to walk. Legolas quickly picked him up and carried him to the bath.  
After Estel’s head dipped under the water for the third time, Legolas gave up on the chair by the bath and undressed to get in with him. He washed Estel’s wounds as tenderly as he could, then simply hugged his friend to his chest. The man melted into his grip, giving up all attempts to keep his own head above water.   
He didn’t speak, just cried, and eventually, Legolas got him out of the bath. He dried and dressed Estel, then got him into bed. The healer arrived with the sleeping potion, which he left on the dresser.   
“Estel.” Legolas fixed him with a stern gaze. “This is a sleeping potion. I want you to drink it.”  
Predictably, Estel shook his head.   
“This is not a negotiation, mellon nin. You will drink the sleeping potion.” Legolas held the glass to Estel’s lips and tipped it upward. His friend had the choice to swallow or choke. Thankfully, he swallowed. Minutes later, Estel fell into a deep, merciful sleep.   
Legolas stitched his arms and treated his nose, then cleaned up the room. While Estel was still under the effects of the drink, Legolas hurried to do what must be done. Within minutes, he had the court scribe and Faramir meeting with him just outside the door, since the prince wouldn’t stray further from Estel.  
“Send letters to Gimli, Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, telling them what’s happened. Write to the Grey Havens, telling them we’ll be coming, just as soon as the ship is ready. You’ll need to get building instructions from there. Faramir, you’ll need to arrange a proper upbringing for the child. I expect Estel will chose you as regent, he’ll sign the paperwork as soon as he’s well enough.”  
“But – but – he’s the king!” Faramir spluttered. “He can’t just leave!”  
“Look at him,” Legolas hissed, gesturing to the slightly open door. “How dare you ask him to live through this kind of pain? I am taking him to Valinor as soon as the ship is built, and that’s final. Now get to it!”  
He gave them such a fierce glare that both Faramir and the scribe hurried to their tasks without another word.   
Legolas crawled into bed with Estel, putting his arm around his friend as he joined him in sleep.

Aragorn  
For a sweet, beautiful moment, Aragorn thought he was waking up with Arwen, and that the whole thing had been a horrible dream.  
Then he saw that the hair in his face was blond and not brown. Legolas. Aragorn realized he’d started crying again when the bed began shaking slightly. Legolas woke at once.   
“Estel.” He pulled the man into a hug, which Aragorn gladly accepted.   
“I’m sorry, mellon nin.” He found he couldn’t look at the elf, and rested his head on his friend’s shoulder instead. “I tried not to, I really did. For weeks… I just couldn’t anymore.”  
“You do not need to be sorry for anything, Estel. I am only glad I got here in time. Now, come, there’s food, and we will talk.”  
Legolas brought the tray to the bed, and Aragorn picked unenthusiastically at it.   
“Estel. You will eat the food.” The prince did a shockingly good imitation of The Eyebrow.   
“Since when did Ada teach you to do that?”  
“I was on its receiving end more than enough times. Now eat your food, stubborn human.”  
It seemed that The Eyebrow had not lost its power over him, even when wielded by Legolas, and Aragorn ate the food meekly, though he didn’t manage to stop the silent tears rolling down his face.  
“Now, we need to talk,” Legolas said, briskly, once he was satisfied the man had eaten enough. “I assume you’ll make Faramir regent, we’ve already got the paperwork drawn up. He and Éowyn want adopt Eldarion if you have no objections – you know how much they always wanted children, but Éowyn is infertile.”  
Aragorn hung his head. “How can I, mellon nin? I fought my entire life for this crown, how can I just leave to assuage my own grief?”  
“Things are different now, gwador. The kingdom is safe and has been stable for many years. You took the crown and held it. You are a good king, and you have given Gondor an heir, but Faramir can take things from here.”  
“I haven’t even met my son.” Guilt twisted in Aragorn’s stomach. He hadn’t been able to face it, not after Arwen…  
“We will be sure to do that before we go, don’t worry. It’ll still be a few weeks until we have the boat built. Gimli will be here before then, I think. I suspect Elrond and the twins will be arriving tomorrow – if I know them at all, they will pull some strings with the eagles to get transport.”  
Aragorn sighed, closing his eyes. The thought of his family and friends surrounding him did a little to help ease the weight of grief in his chest.   
“I’m a terrible person, a terrible father,” he said sadly. “How can I even consider leaving my newborn son?”  
“Look, Estel, if you want to stay, we can stay. I’ll support you in whatever you decide. Just know that if you need to go, things will be fine here. Éowyn and Faramir will love Eldarion as their own, you know that.”  
That much Aragorn did know, but he still felt wracked with guilt. What good would he be to his son, though? He could barely breathe past the pain of losing Arwen. How could he raise a child without her?  
“You do not need to decide now, Estel. We’ll be sailing for Valinor at some point, even if it’s decades from now. We can get the ship made in the next few weeks and decide later when to use it. But Estel, think very carefully. Eldarion will not be served by your staying if he has to watch his father do this.” Legolas gestured to his bandaged arms. “Or see him throw himself off the tower of Gondor.”  
Legolas was right, of course. Aragorn had never imagined he might outlive Arwen. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, and now, he didn’t know what to do.  
Though with his friend here, his head was at least slightly clearer. “What… what if we took Eldarion with us?”  
“And leave Gondor without an heir?”  
“Faramir and Éowyn can do what they were planning to do with Eldarion, they can adopt. Their child can be king or queen. They’d probably do a better job of raising a ruler than I would have.”  
“We can discuss that with them, if you’d like,” Legolas said gently. “I am sure they will do it, if you ask it of them. They both care about you.”  
He knew that, but the pain was still too fresh, and Aragorn couldn’t deal with this right now. Though he knew it was childish and cowardly, he pulled the blankets over his head, hiding from the world.  
Legolas patted his shoulder through the blankets. “I will see to everything, Estel, don’t worry. You just rest.”  
Though he was still filled with guilt at the thought, Aragorn knew in his heart he’d already made his decision. “Take me away, mellon nin,” he whispered. His words were soft, but he knew Legolas could hear him. The prince patted his shoulder.   
“I will, Estel. I will.”

Legolas  
Two months later  
Estel stood at the helm, his face finally wearing a look of peace. The man had been plagued with doubts at first, and had delayed their journey until he could speak to all the barons and people of influence in the kingdom, making sure they would accept Faramir’s rule.   
Faramir was well-liked and widely respected, and the people were already responding positively to him. He and Éowyn were now parents of a newly adopted baby boy, who would one day be king.   
The white sands of Valinor were in sight. Legolas saw a dark-haired figure waiting for them.  
When the boat finally touched the shore, Estel carefully handed Eldarion over to Elrond before leaping off the edge, splashing the last few feet in the water to get to Arwen.  
The two embraced so fiercely that they looked like they would never let go. Legolas and Gimli shared a smile as they helped the twins moor the boat before going to join the couple.  
Estel surprised Legolas by breaking away from Arwen and pulling him into a crushing hug. “Thank you, mellon nin,” he whispered. “For everything. If I asked anyone else to take me away from Middle Earth, they would have told me to stay, for the kingdom. You were the only one telling me to make the decision for me, for my family. Thank you.”  
“You are most welcome, Estel.”  
Arwen’s eyes were eager as she took the little bundle that was Eldarion. Legolas peered around, looking for his mother. Thranduil was still in Greenwood, and he knew his father would join them eventually. Legolas hadn’t seen his mother since he was a child, and he was anxious to reunite with her.  
Mithrandir, Frodo and Sam were making their way down the beach, all grinning widely. Legolas sighed happily. He glanced once at more at Estel’s shining face, free of the harrowing lines of grief, and knew that they were where they belonged.


End file.
